7 Family Issues Pope Francis Should—But Won’t—Discuss

http://www.faithstreet.com/onfaith/2014/10/10/family-pope-francis-catholic-synod-women/34495

There’s an elephant roaming through the Vatican these days, but apparently the pope hasn’t noticed. Its name is Women. Pope Francis recently called for a two-week meeting of Catholic bishops to consider matters related to “the family.” The pope publicly encouraged the bishops to speak openly on family issues without fear of censure. Of course, the bishops are all men. It seems that women’s thoughts would be irrelevant, though women do tend to be present in almost every family.

I wish I could be cautiously optimistic that this “open” dialogue will bring about significant policy changes to an anachronistic institution, but the Vatican is not known for major changes. Here are some issues we won’t hear bishops discuss with Pope Francis, but might hear from the Nuns on the Bus or countless other Catholic women — if they were invited to participate.

1. The Church should stop treating women as second-class people, and not just in family issues. Women should have the same rights and privileges as men in the Church. We can only dream that one day there will be a Pope Frances. At this point, women cannot even be priests.

2. It’s time to end the Church’s celibacy requirement for priests and nuns. While promoting natural law, the Church fails to acknowledge how unnatural celibacy is. Here’s a novel idea: Shouldn’t priests be viewed as role models with families, rather than as unquestionable messengers who act as necessary intermediaries to God?

3. The Church should give high priority to eliminating family poverty caused by having too many children. Provide evidence-based sex education for young people, especially since abstinence-only programs have such a high failure rate. Permit abortion under some circumstances and encourage contraception. Pregnant teenagers are not ready to start families of two and are likely to drop out of school. Education for women is a primary method of reducing poverty.
 
4.The Church should recognize that masturbation is not a sin. It is natural and healthy safe sex, giving harmless pleasure to individuals without leading to unwanted pregnancies or venereal disease.

5. Regarding gays, Pope Francis, move away from “Love the sinner, but hate the sin.” If two responsible and mature people love each other, are in a committed relationship, and would like to marry, you should be willing to bless such a union. And please stop telling people that the purpose of marriage is to have children, since you sometimes perform marriages for heterosexual couples who are incapable of having children.

6. Please recognize that it is degrading to have celibate male priests passing themselves off as experts on sexual advice for women, men, and children. Male leaders in the Catholic Church are obsessed with sex. Morality should not be viewed through the narrow prism of sexual conduct. Ethical and moral behavior is about treating everyone with respect. If there is any issue that is none of the Church’s business, it is the private sexual acts of consenting adults. Church leaders claim to be humble, but their treatment of women and people who don’t share their antiquated beliefs is the height of arrogance.
 
7. Don’t expect those outside the Catholic faith to behave like those in the faith. Stay out of politics and don’t prevent others from following the dictates of their conscience.
 
I doubt any of these issues will be discussed at the synod, but there’s one other that I suspect will be — and that is annulment of marriage by the Church. I recently participated in a symposium in South Carolina on “Religion and Healthcare, Religion and Marriage,” along with Michael Acquilano, director of the South Carolina Catholic Conference. He represents the Catholic Church on matters of public policy.

Acquilano acknowledged that the Catholic Church had erred by making annulments so difficult to get, and would likely simplify the process. However, he missed my point that the whole concept of annulment is ridiculous. If the Church wants to maintain its position that marriage is forever and then make annulment as easy as divorce, so be it. The Church is free to annul marriages of 25 years with several children, and pretend that such marriages were never valid.

During my many conversations with religious leaders, I often think of a line from Bob Dylan’s Positively 4th Street: “I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes. . . . ” Many people don’t realize it, but from the outside looking in, lots of religious beliefs are not just unbelievable, but sometimes heartless. I expect that more than one Catholic woman will be singing this song during the Pope’s synod on the family.