http://www.faithstreet.com/onfaith/2014/12/02/five-reasons-i-might-join-the-ku-klux-klan/35252
Groucho Marx famously said, “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.” I’m thinking about joining a club that I thought would never accept me as a member. A Ku Klux Klan chapter is now accepting Jews. My only public comment about the KKK, in 1987, was supportive -- sort of. When the Charleston City Council in South Carolina, where I live, asked for citizen comments about whether to grant the KKK a parade permit to march, I said, “The Ku Klux Klan has done hundreds of horrible things, but I don’t want to deny them the one appropriate thing they do -- use their free speech right to demonstrate for a cause. The Klan was allowed to march, and it was especially ironic that the KKK Grand Dragon had to listen when our black, Jewish police chief, Reuben Greenberg, read him the permit rules and regulations.
So why would a liberal Jew like me even consider joining a hate group like the Ku Klux Klan?
1. I like diversity.
I’m happy when groups become more inclusive. Only one KKK chapter thus far is opening its membership to Jews, as well as to blacks and gays, but that’s a start. I also enjoy seeing hate groups argue among themselves about changing traditions. KKK Imperial Wizard Bradley Jenkins said about John Abarr, who started this new chapter: "That man's going against everything the bylaws of the constitution of the KKK say." This reminds me of a piece in The Onion about a small group of Klan reformers who claimed that blacks and Jews may be partially related to human, or White, beings, a controversial view that challenged one of the most dearly held Klan beliefs.
2. My wife wants me to get some new attire.
Although I’d have to wear the traditional Ku Klux Klan costume of a white robe and conical hood, I could still wear my traditional T-shirt and shorts under my robe along with a visible smiley face and a yarmulke (Jewish skullcap) on top of my hood.
3. I could learn my color.
I’m confused when Klansmen declare their organization to be for “whites only,” not for blacks or Jews. I get that black is black, but what color is Jew? I also want to know how a Christian organization like the KKK can hate Jews, yet worship one. And what color was Jesus?
4. It would make for lively dinner parties.
My liberal friends and I generally agree on almost everything, so it could be fun trying to recruit my Jewish friends into the Klan. Since most of them are also atheists, I’d suggest forming a Klan affiliate of the Society for Humanistic Judaism. I might tell noncompliant Jews to be wary of my burning a Mezuzah (a scroll inserted in a small case that some Jews attach to their doorpost) on their front lawn, consistent with the intimidation tactics of Christian Klan members who burn crosses.
5. It could be “Springtime for Klansmen.”
The Producers, a dark comedy written and directed by Mel Brooks, features the song “Springtime for Hitler.” (I wish that had been the movie title.) There is a time to fear and a time to make fun of hate groups. While still threatening, I hope we are approaching the time when we can best combat the Ku Klux Klan and neo-Nazis with humor. For instance, neo-Nazis have been travelling annually to a small town in Germany to glorify the horrors of the Third Reich, amid angry protestors. This year the protestors changed tactics and cheered the neo-Nazis as they passed, throwing rainbow confetti in celebration. In fact, for each meter they walked, local businesses pledged money to an organization devoted to making it easier for neo-Nazis to leave behind their hateful politics. Villagers hung bright colorful signs along the roads that both encouraged and humiliated the walkers. Mein Mampf (My Food) offered free bananas to hungry marchers and was one of several banners parodying Nazi slogans. The neo-Nazi marchers helped raise more than $10,000 for their own defeat.
Do you think I should join this new and improved Ku Klux Klan chapter? I’m hesitant about getting too up-close-and-personal with such vile people, so I’d rather make fun of the KKK from a distance. In my home state of South Carolina, where lynching was once common, the KKK is now handing out candy as a recruiting tool. (I wonder if they give away dark chocolate, or just white chocolate.) In a state where it was once politically advantageous to be a Klan member, some politicians are uncomfortable about their former Klan affiliation. A South Carolina politician and former KKK member now says he couldn’t remember whether he owned a hood. Who could forget something like that?
If an open atheist today were to run for governor of South Carolina, I expect such a candidate without a prayer would receive more votes than I did in 1990. Could this hypothetical candidate also get more votes than a Ku Klux Klan member? I’d like to think so, but I wouldn’t bet on it. I hope the time is fast approaching when an open atheist in any state will be able to beat any member of a hate group. That will require some work and organizing, and perhaps a bit of ridicule along the way.
I also look forward to a day when we can all sing “Springtime for ISIS.”
I’m happy when groups become more inclusive. Only one KKK chapter thus far is opening its membership to Jews, as well as to blacks and gays, but that’s a start. I also enjoy seeing hate groups argue among themselves about changing traditions. KKK Imperial Wizard Bradley Jenkins said about John Abarr, who started this new chapter: "That man's going against everything the bylaws of the constitution of the KKK say." This reminds me of a piece in The Onion about a small group of Klan reformers who claimed that blacks and Jews may be partially related to human, or White, beings, a controversial view that challenged one of the most dearly held Klan beliefs.
2. My wife wants me to get some new attire.
Although I’d have to wear the traditional Ku Klux Klan costume of a white robe and conical hood, I could still wear my traditional T-shirt and shorts under my robe along with a visible smiley face and a yarmulke (Jewish skullcap) on top of my hood.
3. I could learn my color.
I’m confused when Klansmen declare their organization to be for “whites only,” not for blacks or Jews. I get that black is black, but what color is Jew? I also want to know how a Christian organization like the KKK can hate Jews, yet worship one. And what color was Jesus?
4. It would make for lively dinner parties.
My liberal friends and I generally agree on almost everything, so it could be fun trying to recruit my Jewish friends into the Klan. Since most of them are also atheists, I’d suggest forming a Klan affiliate of the Society for Humanistic Judaism. I might tell noncompliant Jews to be wary of my burning a Mezuzah (a scroll inserted in a small case that some Jews attach to their doorpost) on their front lawn, consistent with the intimidation tactics of Christian Klan members who burn crosses.
5. It could be “Springtime for Klansmen.”
The Producers, a dark comedy written and directed by Mel Brooks, features the song “Springtime for Hitler.” (I wish that had been the movie title.) There is a time to fear and a time to make fun of hate groups. While still threatening, I hope we are approaching the time when we can best combat the Ku Klux Klan and neo-Nazis with humor. For instance, neo-Nazis have been travelling annually to a small town in Germany to glorify the horrors of the Third Reich, amid angry protestors. This year the protestors changed tactics and cheered the neo-Nazis as they passed, throwing rainbow confetti in celebration. In fact, for each meter they walked, local businesses pledged money to an organization devoted to making it easier for neo-Nazis to leave behind their hateful politics. Villagers hung bright colorful signs along the roads that both encouraged and humiliated the walkers. Mein Mampf (My Food) offered free bananas to hungry marchers and was one of several banners parodying Nazi slogans. The neo-Nazi marchers helped raise more than $10,000 for their own defeat.
Do you think I should join this new and improved Ku Klux Klan chapter? I’m hesitant about getting too up-close-and-personal with such vile people, so I’d rather make fun of the KKK from a distance. In my home state of South Carolina, where lynching was once common, the KKK is now handing out candy as a recruiting tool. (I wonder if they give away dark chocolate, or just white chocolate.) In a state where it was once politically advantageous to be a Klan member, some politicians are uncomfortable about their former Klan affiliation. A South Carolina politician and former KKK member now says he couldn’t remember whether he owned a hood. Who could forget something like that?
If an open atheist today were to run for governor of South Carolina, I expect such a candidate without a prayer would receive more votes than I did in 1990. Could this hypothetical candidate also get more votes than a Ku Klux Klan member? I’d like to think so, but I wouldn’t bet on it. I hope the time is fast approaching when an open atheist in any state will be able to beat any member of a hate group. That will require some work and organizing, and perhaps a bit of ridicule along the way.
I also look forward to a day when we can all sing “Springtime for ISIS.”
